Keep the romance alive

[Amaris]

 Author Dr. Robert Lewis has a list of 25 characteristics of husbands who love their wives. And, here they are:

1. Includes his wife in envisioning the future.

2. Accepts spiritual responsibility for his family.

3. Is willing to say "I'm sorry" and "Forgive me" to his family.

4. Discusses household responsibilities with his wife and makes sure they are fairly distributed.

5. Seeks consultation from his wife on all major financing decisions.

6. Follows through with commitments he has made to his wife.

7. Anticipates the different stages his children will pass through.

8. Anticipates the different stages his marriage will pass through.

9. Frequently tells his wife what he likes about her.

10. Provides financially for his family's basic living expenses.

11. Deals with distraction so he can talk with his wife and family.

12. Prays with his wife on a regular basis.

13. Initiates meaningful family traditions.

14. Initiates fun family outings for the family on a regular basis.

15. Takes the time to give his children practical instruction about life.

16. Manages the schedule of the home and anticipates pressure points.

17. Keeps his family financially sound and out of harmful debt.

18. Makes sure he and his wife have drawn up a will.

19. Lets his wife and children into the interior of his life.

20. Honors his wife in public.

21. Explains sex to each child in a way that gives them a wholesome perspective.

22. Encourages his wife to grow as an individual.

23. Takes the lead in establishing sound family values.

24. Provides time for his wife to pursue her own personal interests.

25. Is involved in a small group of men dedicated to spiritual growth.

 

After a long period of time, the passion in a marriage can begin to fade. Keep the flame alive with these ten ways to romance your wife:

1. Learn her love language, and then use it every day: 
   Read “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman and figure out what you can do to become fluent in your wife’s love language.  Then use what you have learned and use it every day.

2. Date your wife: 
   If you asked her out again today, would she still be excited to say yes? You must have been pretty good at this at one time or she wouldn’t have married you! So why stop now? One date a month at a minimum.  Use your imagination, get creative, and make it special.

3. Make her feel special (don’t take the relationship for granted): 
   “She already knows she’s important to me,” is not a useful response. If you haven’t done something to demonstrate how special she is in – say – the past four hours, then you’ve already waited too long. This is not a high-budget item; it’s high-consideration. How about an “I love you” phone call, a simple card slipped in her purse, a mid-week lunch date, or flowers delivered to her office.  Do you still open the car door? Serve her hot tea, wash her car, deliver an unexpected embrace, a foot rub, candles with dinner?  You get the idea.

4. Use some imagination: 
   Plan events, dates, evenings at home, vacations – even stolen moments – with the kind of creative thinking that motivated you when you first asked her out. There’s a psychological concept known as the “self-fulfilling prophesy.” Simply put it means this: believe she’s worth the trouble and she will be; stop trying hard and so will she; bring some creative intention to your romance as if she still knocks your socks off – and she will (be prepared to lose your socks!).

5. Take care of yourself: 
   Check the scales, think about how you dress around your wife, throw away the cigarettes, start some regular exercise, don’t be a slob. When she sees you, does she take a second look – or does she look away? Does the way you present yourself tell your wife you want her to be attracted to you – or do you take all that for granted?

6. Say “I love you”, and say it often: 
   The #1 misnomer believed by unromantic men is this, “I shouldn’t have to say it – she should know.” Saying “I love you” is the opposite of inflationary; it turns out “I love you” amplifies exponentially with usage.

7. Be kind: 
   Kindness could well be the “X-Factor” in romance. Being kind is underplayed, undervalued, underrated, and certainly underutilized. Want romance? Be “Mr. Kindness.”  Learn to make thoughtfulness and consideration your second nature.  NIice-guys really do finish first - and she’ll fall for you all over again.

8. Be a gentleman:
   Please don’t confuse being a gentleman with the medieval brand of chauvinism known as chivalry. Chivalry died a well-deserved death several centuries ago. Gentlemen, on the other hand, are courteous, respectful, well-mannered, faithful, generous, modest and charming. Stand up when she leaves the table, open the car door, walk on the street side of the walkway, help her on with her jacket, run to the car for her umbrella… you get the picture.

9. Tell her she’s beautiful: 
   Women who hear their husband tell them they’re beautiful become more beautiful. Men who tell their wives they’re beautiful believe it with more conviction every time the words leave their lips. Love expressed = beauty; beauty = romance.  It’s win-win.

10. Spend uninterrupted time together: 
    There are only 168 hours in each week – the number never varies. The amount of time we offer our relationships can appear like a vote as to how much we value the people we say we love. Romance, like anything else worthwhile, is worth the investment of time and attention.