Dear Womb I am writing you this letter to let you know that I have grown to honor and protect you because I love you know . I want to sincerely deeply apologize for the abuse and stress I have endured over the years . I was polluting you not realizing I was discarding my life support . I was self destructing . Not realizing I was in need of a spiritual cleansing . I love you so much mz uterus . I love you greatly mama womb who is my mother ship. I weep at nights because I was nearly dead .…

Woke up with messages on my mind not to trust so freely and deeply as i always do . Also was told to be careful with my people in my circle which is few . Some times we have to let go of it all and just stand alone . I've been slowing up a lot of things in my life these past 4yrs ... 2009 was a big transition that I am still detoxing from . Just happy I am no longer sleeping with the enemy.

I swear these past few weeks I have been feeling like I am at a beach house with my family . It feels weird because it feels so real . I can feel white sand all around me . And this breeze is messing with my mind it feels so tropical . I swear I feel sand on my skin . I feel so at peace like serenity . I am grateful . Took me a lot to get here with joy in my heart . 

Woke up feeling so at peace as I was waking up . It felt so different . I don't remember feeling this way before. I was calm as I was opening my eyes . Love it  And I am aware that today is Smith day ,, damn! this why I am staying home and cleaning out my garage . I am converting that into my sewing room slash mini gym . Seems like all week I was going to sleep with eyes wide open . Grateful ,.

1.  Havok is the sound of "Isfet".  It is the soundtrack of chaos and disorder as it manifests in the physical.  Although it is can be seen with the eye, it is mostly referred to by it's sound.  It usually sounds like loud screaming, hollering, and yelling, occasionally followed by gunshots, tires screeching, or glass breaking.  This is usually followed by police sirens.  It…

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Woke up this morning feeling some type of way ,, then again maybe it was because of face book . But so much inner g is put in to that site and I get non reactive inner g forces back . I plug into an outlet that is just draining me . Starting to remind me of my children's dad who was just feeding off my inner g and way of life . I was plugged into a socket with no inner g in it , no life . I am starting to feel that way about face prowl now . This keeps me reminded on be aware who I am…

Was thinking just now .. was I ever a home wrecker ? I would have to say yes . Met a couple of men who had girl frenz who I allowed 2 take me out on a couple of dates . Even chased one away from her own baby's father . Am I proud of any of this .. of course not but I am self reflecting and realizing the consequences that were behind all that . Could I do that again ? No . But when I do meet dudes who have women I feel bad so I end up ignoring them now . Learned to respect self by respecting…

The Kungblao Avatar

1.  Kungblao is the opposite of yin and yang.  It means controlled chaos.  Where as yin and yang find a harmonious balance to complete a circle, kungblao is a chaotic balance that creates a "spark" of energy.  This was symbolized in the 2007 film "Transformers" as the "Allspark", originally called "the matrix".  

2.  The…

DON'T ALLOW NO ONE 2 TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOUR KINDNESS/HAPPINESS /OR HEART ... STAY IN CHARGE OF YA OWN OFFERINGS ... GIVE KIND WORDS WHEN UR LED 2 NOT WHEN SOMEONE WANTS THEM ... ETC .. ETC .. NEVER RUN YA OWN WELL DRY ♥

Amazing when one begins to truly change. You begin to taste food differently . You start to dress different. You begin to spend money different to . My taste in men has even begun to change . What makes me happy now makes me sad and what use to make me sad brings me the deepest joys now . What use to make me angry is more controlled now within . I even have a different taste in friends now as well . I have become some what of a loner but I love it . No drama . No other people's drama . I am…

Today I am going to start teaching self how to sew. My first project is to sew my sewing machine a cover . Simple and a realistic goal to reach . I am excited over here . 

how can u say u love me when u don't even love ya self

save ur petty hugs for these good byez ya slug

you'z a leeche trying 2 compete

with a queen who u obviously hasn't seen 

what's beneath my skin when i allowed u in

ungrateful being never unseen 

u travel on ya belly ur tongue is split like yo mind 

and yo ass just ran outta time 

not dissin 

just expressin my lessin 

When was the last time U held self when crying ? Self cleansing can be real deep if you allow it .

 Tonight my mind feels like running deeper than a submarine in an ocean . Ever since I was a child I loved to count anything and every thing . Now that I am in my late 30's I see numbers more and more different now . Like for the numbers 666 people say it is the devil but I see good in it now . 6x3=18 and 1+8=9 which is ether 9 femiNINE ... so how could this belong to some who is wicked? I am into numerology a little bit . My number is 5 and when I started to think about it that fits me. My…

Spring break is over ... my children went back 2 school this morning . Woke up feeling some type of way . May be I am learning to much about the matrix . I don't know . what I do know is that I can't wait to start home schooling my children again . Just thinking how many teachers just show up for a pay check and health insurance feeding off our children as a meal ticket. It shows how these teachers are caught sleeping with our children and this has been going on since the beginning of time.…

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I need to speak to my ladies for a minute . My Queens ,, are we polluting our wombs with non sense as food and unneeded sex from different sex partners or even a partner that is negative ? See I dated before and even have different dads for my children , Not inner standing that I was damaging my temple . Not because I wanted a family of my own but because I wasn't taught or prepared as a young woman to venture off and experience with no proper tools to get what I thought I was yearning for .…

The Mad Hatter Avatar

1.  The concept of being "stuck in a timeless loop", but not being aware of it.  Not being aware of change and how concepts, information, and cultural phenomenons can become obsolete.  This can also known as "The Chronic". 

2.  The fourth dimension is considered time and space.  From a telescope's point of view, if it were recording your…